you are my heaven
by Raine Cooper
Summary: "I never had a choice." Amy/11


**I had a dream about this, and I had to write it. I'm on holidays in Europe, but I plan on posting because why not? Hope you guys enjoy. If any of you wish to send me a message to talk thoroughly about the whole series, I'd be happy to. Also, send me some prompts. AND REVIEW **

**-Kate.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to BBC. I own nothing.**

"Brilliant, Pond."

She lives for those words.

She hears them there, in the control panel, and she can't help the grin that breaks out. She lightly blushes, and grabs his hand tightly. They gravitate towards each other into a hug. They stay like this for a few moments, and it's just them. Everything else just fades away, just blurs.

He clears his throat, and he's suddenly on the other side of the room.

It's been like this for a while now. Ever since the wedding, he avoids her touch. Sometimes, there's moments where he gives in, but it doesn't last. And she's had enough.

His eyes slowly gaze back up into hers, and he see's that she's shaking.

"Pond…" he begins, but she shakes her head. She takes a breath, suddenly deciding to be braver then he is, just for this one conversation.

"What's changed, doctor?" She asks it bluntly, and it takes him by surprise. He flushes, and pretends to work on something.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Pond."

She shakes a finger in his direction, her brain churning. "No, no. I've been working on it for a while now. A decision has been changed, ever since the wedding. You refuse to touch me." He huffs, and he automatically takes it back. Her eyes flare with anger.

"You're married, Amy. Touching is the husband's job. "

"I was engaged before, and that never stopped you. " Her voice comes out surprisingly strong, and she takes three strides towards the doctor, faces inches apart. He doesn't back down. "So, answer me, doctor. What's changed?"

He knows then that she isn't going to let this go. He escapes her gaze, staring hard at the cold floor. She stands still, hands on her hips, beginning to tap her foot. It stays like that for a while, and Amy almost wants to remind him that she's still standing there, waiting for his answer. She decides against it, however, because he's never seen his face in that much pain. His head finally lifts.

"If I asked you a question, would you answer it honestly?" He breathes, his eyes looking everywhere but her own bright eyes.

"Of course I would. "

Another long pause. Then,

"Why did you come with me that night?" Finally, eyes meet eyes, and she opens her mouth, and closes it again. He continues. "After I had left you waiting for fourteen years. Even after you we're happily engaged to a man you loved. Even after you had everything you wanted. Why did you run away with me?" His voice is soft, but even he is a little shocked at the coldness in it. Her head lightly shakes side to side.

"I didn't have you."

The emotion in her voice leaves him breathless. A light smile plays at her lips, the corners turning up ever so slowly.

"You know, doctor, I didn't have much of a childhood." She thinks for a moment. Thinks of those twelve years that she waited for the first time. She tries to think of the happy moments. "No, I really didn't. I wouldn't let my mother read me any fairytales at night because I didn't understand why they got a happy ending and I never did. I didn't understand what made us so different." She runs her hands along the railing, the cold pricking her fingers. She grasps it hard, as if at any moment she'll fall so far from where she is now. Under his hard gaze, that's how she feels. "So, because I wasn't read stories of princes and castles, I had bad dreams. Every night, monsters and demons nested in my imagination." She remembers them then, those dreams. She shivers, and takes a deep breath. "So when you came back, it was like every good and bad memory of my childhood came rushing back. But it was you, and you had come back. You saved the world, saved me." She looks at him hard then, wanting him to feel every inch of what she feels right now, and how she felt back then. "And then you left again. And it killed me. I agreed to marry Rory because I settled. I didn't want to wait for you forever, I knew I needed someone. I never wanted to get married then. And then you came back," She begins to cry, her body begins to shake. He doesn't dare touch her. "So _of course _I had to go with you. What else was I supposed to do?"

"You could have stayed, got married. You had a choice." He's almost commanding, and she let's out one, short laugh. She shakes her head.

"I never had a choice."

He reaches out for her, because his skin burns for her touch. He just needs to hold her, to feel her. And she looks at the emotion in his eyes, and it's a look she recognizes. A look that Rory gives her every day, every second that they're together.

The love fills her, and she gasps at the realization.

"You're running from me because you love me." Her hand covers her mouth as she falls to the floor, and sobs. He whispers her name, falling to the floor beside her.

They stay like that for a while, her sobs echoing through the halls and his tortured eyes as he stares at her, breathing heavily. She stands.

"I can't stay here anymore. I'm going to pack."

And of course he let's her go. He's giving her a choice this time, and he just stares at the space that she used to fill. She stops halfway to the stairs, and she doesn't turn to face him.

"What would you say if I told you I loved you?"

"I wouldn't believe you."

She turns slowly towards him, and takes short steps. She takes his face in her hands, lightly stroking with her thumbs. His eyes close.

"Liar." She says lightly, the pain and hurt turning into a light smile.

He breaks, capturing her lips and everything changes again. Her world spins and everything fades. Because it's just them

It was always just them.


End file.
